Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse inspired by Parks & Rec

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This week, we say a bittersweet goodbye to the old BwB studio with a Swanson's swan song, and probably the longest episode name to date: The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse from Parks & Rec. A fitting goodbye, a breakfast that could comfortably feed a family of four (along with some aunts and uncles), prepared on the very same flat-top that seared the sixteen-some-odd patties flipped in the kitchen's inaugural episode.

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Classic Pancakes Ingredients:

  • 10 ounces flour

  • 3 Tbsp sugar

  • 4 tsp baking powder

  • ½ tsp baking soda

  • 1 tsp salt

  • 2 large eggs

  • ¼ cup vegetable oil, plus more for the pan

  • 1 ½ cups whole milk

  • ½ tsp vanilla extract (optional)

  • Butter and syrup for serving

Hash Brown Patties Ingredients:

  • 5 medium russet potatoes, peeled and chopped

  • Vegetable oil 

  • 2 tsp sugar

  • 1 tsp kosher salt

  • Freshly ground black pepper

  • 1 Tbsp potato starch 

Chicken Fried Steak Ingredients:

  • Top sirloin steaks

  • 1 cup all-purpose flour

  • 1 tsp kosher salt 

  • 1 tsp cayenne pepper

  • 1 large egg 

  • 1 tsp baking powder

  • ½ tsp baking soda

  • 1 cup buttermilk

Gravy Ingredients:

  • ½ onion, finely minced

  • 2-3 cloves garlic, crushed

  • ¼ cup flour

  • ½ cup beef stock

  • 1 cup light cream

  • Freshly ground pepper

  • Kosher salt

  • Sprinkle cayenne pepper

Hash Brown Potatoes Ingredients:

  • 3 russet potatoes, shredded

  • Water

  • Kosher salt

  • Freshly ground black pepper

Other “garnishes” for the Four Horsemeals:

  • Bacon

  • Ham

  • Breakfast sausage

  • 12 eggs, scrambled


Pancakes Method:

  1. In one bowl, combine dry ingredients: flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Whisk to combine.

  2. In another bowl, combine: eggs, vegetable oil, and whole milk. Optional: you can also add ½ teaspoon of vanilla extract here. Whisk to combine.

  3. Combine the two bowls and mix together gently with a rubber spatula. The batter should still be lumpy with a few dry streaks of flour. Don’t overmix the pancakes!

  4. Cover the batter and let it rest at room temperature for 10 minutes.

  5. Heat 1 teaspoon of vegetable oil in a nonstick skillet.

  6. Ladle one scoop of batter into the skillet and cook for a few minutes. Once bubbles appear on the surface and around the edge of the pancake, cook and flip for a few minutes more.

  7. Stack your pancakes up and serve with syrup and butter if desired. 

Hash Brown Patties Method:

  1. Start by peeling and chopping 5 medium russet potatoes and immediately dunk them into a large bowl filled with cold water. 

  2. Drain and pat potatoes dry on a few layers of paper towels. 

  3. Once dried, par-fry in 375°F vegetable oil for 3-4 minutes until lightly browned and cooked through.

  4. Fish the potatoes out of the frying oil and drain on a couple of layers of paper towels set in a rimmed baking sheet. Let them cool completely for about 20 minutes. 

  5. Once cooled, place into a food processor in batches and pulse in eight 1-second pulses until little chunks have formed. 

  6. Add the potatoes into a medium bowl along with 2 teaspoons of sugar, freshly ground black pepper, 1 teaspoon (or hefty pinch) of kosher salt, and 1 tablespoon of potato starch. Mix until fully combined. 

  7. Once combined, begin forming the potatoes into oval pucks onto a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Freeze for about 1 hour

  8. Once frozen solid, place into 375°F oil for 3-5 minutes until deeply golden brown, and crisp. 

  9. Place onto a wire rack on a rimmed baking sheet to drain. Keep warm in a low oven while finishing the rest of the meal. 

Chicken Fried Steak Method:

  1. Start by tenderizing the top sirloin using the desired tool. 

  2. For the dry breading station, add 1 cup of all-purpose flour, and1 teaspoon each of kosher salt, and cayenne pepper. Whisk together. 

  3. For the wet station, add 1 large egg, 1 teaspoon of baking powder, ½ teaspoon of baking soda. Whisk together into a slurry before whisking in 1 cup of buttermilk until fully homogeneous. 

  4. Place the steak into the dry breading station and coat thoroughly, shake off any excess and dip into the egg mixture, making sure every inch is covered before repeating for a second time. Place onto a wire rack placed in a rimmed baking sheet.

  5. Carefully place the breaded steak into 350°F oil and fry for 4-5 minutes per side until deeply golden brown all over. Use extreme caution when flipping to prevent the shell from cracking. Rinse and repeat with remaining steaks. 

  6. Place onto a wire rack placed in a rimmed baking sheet and keep warm in a low oven until ready to serve. 

  7. For the gravy, reserve as much as possible of the brown sloppy gold at the bottom of the pan and add 2 tablespoons of leftover fry oil and ½ finely minced onion. Saute for 2-3 minutes until it softens and turns translucent. 

  8. Add 2-3 crushed cloves of garlic and saute for another 30 seconds until fragrant before adding ¼ cup of flour and mix together letting it cook for 2-3 minutes until the raw flour dissipates. 

  9. Slowly whisk in ½ cup of beef stock and 1 cup of cream, adding slowly at first while whisking constantly to prevent lumps then add the rest while whisking frequently over medium-high heat until bubbling and thickening. 

  10. Once it starts bubbling, lower the heat to not scorch the sauce. Season with freshly ground pepper, kosher salt, and an optional sprinkle of cayenne pepper. Whisk together. 

  11. Reduce and thicken the sauce until it coats the back of a spoon. Cover and keep warm until ready to serve. 

Hash Brown Potatoes Method:

  1. Start by peeling and shredding 3 large russet potatoes directly into a bowl filled with cool water. Set aside until ready to cook.

  2. Place into a clean kitchen towel and squeeze all the liquid out of the potatoes. 

  3. Once the potatoes are completely dried, lightly season with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper. Mix together.

  4. Dump onto an oiled flat top or skillet, flatten out using a large spatula into a potato patty. 

  5. Cover with a bowl and cook for 4-5 minutes per side until nicely browned. Enjoy!

In a Skillet or on a Flat Top cook the following accompaniments:

  • Bacon, until crispy

  • Ham, heat until a nice crust forms

  • Breakfast sausage, until crispy & golden brown

  • 12 egg scramble, until soft and fluffy

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